Your Mom and Grandmother

Dear Eugene and William and your children,

 

I met Gladys  more than 50 years ago, when she and I were young teenagers at Hunter College High School, so perhaps I am the one of all who've written  who knew her "longest ago."

 

Gladys and I were very different then, being so young, but we were sure of one thing during a time when we were unsure of so much--and that was our close friendship.

She visited my crowded apartment near school, and I spent time with her and her parents in Queens. Our familes were, again, so different  (mine spoke Hungarian!) and yet, or because of our difference, our bond strengthened. We studied together, laughed a lot, and tried to figure out who we were in the restrictive 1950's, while attending a school in which everyone was so divergent from the friends we'd had in our sheltered homes and neighborhoods.

 

In later years we attended each others weddings, so long ago. To this day, my daughter Rebecca loves the gift Gladys bought  for Paul's and my new home, a beautiful large blue casserole with a lid and Asian- themed glaze, that still goes into our oven and onto our table after 48 years !  Yes, I still do think of Gladys every time we use it, and Rebecca has heard stories of Linda and Gladys as teenagers since Rebecca,  now nearly forty old, was a teenager. Some day Rebecca will have the casserole, and pass those stories on.

 

Though we have kept in touch, not frequently enough, over the years, it was not until the HCHS 50th reunion this summer that I learned your Mom was not there as she has been sick. Her death comes as a very big saddness in my life, and I know how huge a loss this is for you, her family, and friends.

 

I will always remember, so fondly, those adventures and endless talks that Gladys and I had that led us both to become teachers, "worldly wise", and very much people who have put the importance of personal relationships above all.

 

With my deepest expressions of sadness to you all, and profoundly beautiful memories of my best buddy for so may years, Gladys Krum Li, I  will be always grateful to have been in her path.

 

Linda

 

Linda Weiss Spiegler

3020 Cortland Place NW

Washington DC 20008

(202) 234-5883

linda@portfoliotrvel.com

I'll Remember...

I'll remember Gladys.

I'll remember that when I first met her, I lit up a cigarette while drinking whiskey in her dining room (without asking), but she never objected and was a gracious hostess.

I'll remember the smell of chicken livers and ginger.

I'll remember stories of attempts to get to Livingston, NJ  that ended in Chinatown.

I'll remember tales of travels near and far, exotic cultural experiences, and family histories to be proud of.

I'll remember her love for her sons.

I'll remember that she was the real-estate agent that got us our home.

I'll remember that she created my only existing wedding album.

I'll remember the warmth of her Toto hot potty.

I'll remember how she liked to take pictures... usually of Eugene mid-sentence or of the grandkids wailing. 

I'll remember her as "Gran," an unconventional and doting grandmother.

I'll remember what she tolerated when Stephanie applied her makeup and Teresa painted her toes (not toe-nails).

I'll remember our mutual love for salami and rare red meat.

I'll remember that we both try to talk to Eugene and follow him around the house when he tries to get away.

I'll remember that I learned about Asiatic Lilies from her and that they were one of Grandpa Li's favorite flowers.   They grow in our garden thanks to her.

I'll remember that she loved pop-up books.

I'll remember that she rescued Fluffy and he never stopped thanking her.

I'll remember that she duped me into a trip to Sears for a dryer, but instead, bought an electric lawn mower she knew Eugene would disapprove of.

I'll remember that, during the past year, she made me laugh and wish that I wrote down everything because the material is priceless!

I'll remember to add to the Christmas book of memories she was careful to bring each year, asking us to write down what we enjoyed most.

I'll remember the thoughtful gifts she gave me, when everyone else received "gag" gifts.

I'll remember the day I saw the red Jaguar in the driveway!

I'll remember the generosity of her friends, family and colleagues.

I'll remember a strong, courageous woman who battled a series of illnesses and setbacks, any one of which would have crippled others, but always she amazingly recovered.

I'll remember her last weeks, when she demonstrated extreme strength and energy that defied her condition.

I'll remember Gran.

-Jo

Gladys Li

 

After college, I spent many an afternoon and evening at the Li house hanging out with Eugene. The thing that struck me about Gladys, I called her Mrs. Li, was that she wasn’t like my Mom or other friend’s Moms that I knew. Gladys wasn’t formal or distant, rather I always found her easy going and engaged. She seemed more comfortable as a peer than as an authority figure. She’d as readily have a beer with the two of us as she would shout at Eugene to clean up his room. The one image I have stuck in my mind is of Gladys vaulting a low fence while accompanying Eugene and I to one of our Lacrosse League games. It was both funny and cool, and maybe, as I read through the other remembrances, emblematic of a woman who didn’t see barriers that other people saw or projected.

 

Peace.

Dave