some remembrances of your mother

 

My ol' buddy Gladys

…Back in grammar school…that's when I first knew Gladys Krum Li.  So it has been a long time,  though we lost touch now and again over the years, and then would resume, sometimes with visits, or phone calls and the "keep-in touch" Christmas cards.

We might have  first met in 7^th grade, when some of the students from smaller schools joined together in a slightly larger one….  Gladys and I were members of an "enriched," experimental educational experience for 7^th and 8^th graders and we were encouraged into "projects."  I remember the  hobby " newspaper " we created…there must have been others involved, but I recall only lots of meetings with herself and myself, writing our columns , discussing. I think all that energy was about photography… an interest we each continued the rest of our lives.

We were also Girl Scouts together, meeting each week in our green uniforms with bright yellow neck  scarves; excitedly off to Girl Scout Camp weekend with the rest of our troop. As a good friend, she warned me one year that she'd discovered that the seniors had it in for me, for I'd snuck about and exposed many of the various "tricks" they planned to play on us. They were attempting to frighten us in the "camp initiation" held in the dark night.  Thus Gladys and our cohorts got to know that the bowl of "slimy worms" they had to handle was really only cold spaghetti with olive oil. Alas, after every other Girl Scout (even Gladys) had to flap her "wings" and crow "Cock-a- doodle-do,"  the senior Girl Scouts made me sit down on the raw egg that the others had only to notice they had "laid."

We applied to Hunter College High School, and we both happily got in…and shared common friends and also had some separate buddies. Hunter was a thrilling time, creating many fond memories. Indeed Gladys always remained an active enthusiast in the alum association.  In the midst of High School, my family moved upstate to the "country", so I had to leave Hunter, a major teenage trauma. But we corresponded.  The local postman said I received more mail than all the others in the village put together, most of the letters  probably from Gladys.  She visited me there , joining me in the various outdoor chores of country living.  My mail has long since disappeared with my many moves, but Gladys saved my letters to her, and returned them a decade or so ago… we were clearly funny characters together, chattering inventively.

I remember her parents whom I admired, intelligent folk with intellectual interests, certainly a strong influence on Gladys.  Gladys and I often "hung out" at each other's homes.  I was impressed that her mother, when widowed, did not move to some part of Florida, where so many others did, but instead to an apartment on the upper East side of New York City. There she could have easy access to the many cultural events that she so appreciated.

Over the years, Gladys and I were also serious:  pondering the sort of life one should try to lead, the roles of being a woman with a career and being a mother.  We were both excited by travel…and both managed to do a good bit.

In later years, I enjoyed some outstandingly delicious and exotic dinners that Gladys cooked at parties at her beautiful house that she loved so well.  She spoke always proudly and lovingly of her sons.

In more recent times, she alerted me to the 50^th Hunter High Reunion, which she was too incapacitated to attend, and I, by her direction, sent her warm greetings to our fellow classmates.

So I remember Gladys, her inquisitive ways, her sharp laugh, her energy, and indeed her positive, exhilarating spirit… which I relished  even over the phone as we chatted during the last months.  

Farewell Gladys, to a good ol' buddy of mine.

Carolyn A Ristau

car31@columbia.edu