some remembrances of your mother

 

My ol' buddy Gladys

…Back in grammar school…that's when I first knew Gladys Krum Li.  So it has been a long time,  though we lost touch now and again over the years, and then would resume, sometimes with visits, or phone calls and the "keep-in touch" Christmas cards.

We might have  first met in 7^th grade, when some of the students from smaller schools joined together in a slightly larger one….  Gladys and I were members of an "enriched," experimental educational experience for 7^th and 8^th graders and we were encouraged into "projects."  I remember the  hobby " newspaper " we created…there must have been others involved, but I recall only lots of meetings with herself and myself, writing our columns , discussing. I think all that energy was about photography… an interest we each continued the rest of our lives.

We were also Girl Scouts together, meeting each week in our green uniforms with bright yellow neck  scarves; excitedly off to Girl Scout Camp weekend with the rest of our troop. As a good friend, she warned me one year that she'd discovered that the seniors had it in for me, for I'd snuck about and exposed many of the various "tricks" they planned to play on us. They were attempting to frighten us in the "camp initiation" held in the dark night.  Thus Gladys and our cohorts got to know that the bowl of "slimy worms" they had to handle was really only cold spaghetti with olive oil. Alas, after every other Girl Scout (even Gladys) had to flap her "wings" and crow "Cock-a- doodle-do,"  the senior Girl Scouts made me sit down on the raw egg that the others had only to notice they had "laid."

We applied to Hunter College High School, and we both happily got in…and shared common friends and also had some separate buddies. Hunter was a thrilling time, creating many fond memories. Indeed Gladys always remained an active enthusiast in the alum association.  In the midst of High School, my family moved upstate to the "country", so I had to leave Hunter, a major teenage trauma. But we corresponded.  The local postman said I received more mail than all the others in the village put together, most of the letters  probably from Gladys.  She visited me there , joining me in the various outdoor chores of country living.  My mail has long since disappeared with my many moves, but Gladys saved my letters to her, and returned them a decade or so ago… we were clearly funny characters together, chattering inventively.

I remember her parents whom I admired, intelligent folk with intellectual interests, certainly a strong influence on Gladys.  Gladys and I often "hung out" at each other's homes.  I was impressed that her mother, when widowed, did not move to some part of Florida, where so many others did, but instead to an apartment on the upper East side of New York City. There she could have easy access to the many cultural events that she so appreciated.

Over the years, Gladys and I were also serious:  pondering the sort of life one should try to lead, the roles of being a woman with a career and being a mother.  We were both excited by travel…and both managed to do a good bit.

In later years, I enjoyed some outstandingly delicious and exotic dinners that Gladys cooked at parties at her beautiful house that she loved so well.  She spoke always proudly and lovingly of her sons.

In more recent times, she alerted me to the 50^th Hunter High Reunion, which she was too incapacitated to attend, and I, by her direction, sent her warm greetings to our fellow classmates.

So I remember Gladys, her inquisitive ways, her sharp laugh, her energy, and indeed her positive, exhilarating spirit… which I relished  even over the phone as we chatted during the last months.  

Farewell Gladys, to a good ol' buddy of mine.

Carolyn A Ristau

car31@columbia.edu

Gladys

Gladys and I were friends at Hunter High and forever after.  We would get together- always for a project- and then not see each other for awhile.

When Eugene was little, Gladys once came with him to my house for the day and insisted on us painting  a room together - with Eugene left to his own devices.

For awhile, every year, she arranged a Chinese banquet with the most unusual dishes that she insisted that we try.

When my cousin Joan Pincus ran for judge in Westchester, Gladys was a mainstay of her campaign, volunteering countless hours to that effort for a colleague in the League of Women Voters.

I have so many fond memories of her enthusiasms, her cheerfulness and helpfulness.  I cannot believe that she is gone.

Karla (Turkheimer) Moskowitz

 

 

Your Mom and Grandmother

Dear Eugene and William and your children,

 

I met Gladys  more than 50 years ago, when she and I were young teenagers at Hunter College High School, so perhaps I am the one of all who've written  who knew her "longest ago."

 

Gladys and I were very different then, being so young, but we were sure of one thing during a time when we were unsure of so much--and that was our close friendship.

She visited my crowded apartment near school, and I spent time with her and her parents in Queens. Our familes were, again, so different  (mine spoke Hungarian!) and yet, or because of our difference, our bond strengthened. We studied together, laughed a lot, and tried to figure out who we were in the restrictive 1950's, while attending a school in which everyone was so divergent from the friends we'd had in our sheltered homes and neighborhoods.

 

In later years we attended each others weddings, so long ago. To this day, my daughter Rebecca loves the gift Gladys bought  for Paul's and my new home, a beautiful large blue casserole with a lid and Asian- themed glaze, that still goes into our oven and onto our table after 48 years !  Yes, I still do think of Gladys every time we use it, and Rebecca has heard stories of Linda and Gladys as teenagers since Rebecca,  now nearly forty old, was a teenager. Some day Rebecca will have the casserole, and pass those stories on.

 

Though we have kept in touch, not frequently enough, over the years, it was not until the HCHS 50th reunion this summer that I learned your Mom was not there as she has been sick. Her death comes as a very big saddness in my life, and I know how huge a loss this is for you, her family, and friends.

 

I will always remember, so fondly, those adventures and endless talks that Gladys and I had that led us both to become teachers, "worldly wise", and very much people who have put the importance of personal relationships above all.

 

With my deepest expressions of sadness to you all, and profoundly beautiful memories of my best buddy for so may years, Gladys Krum Li, I  will be always grateful to have been in her path.

 

Linda

 

Linda Weiss Spiegler

3020 Cortland Place NW

Washington DC 20008

(202) 234-5883

linda@portfoliotrvel.com

I'll Remember...

I'll remember Gladys.

I'll remember that when I first met her, I lit up a cigarette while drinking whiskey in her dining room (without asking), but she never objected and was a gracious hostess.

I'll remember the smell of chicken livers and ginger.

I'll remember stories of attempts to get to Livingston, NJ  that ended in Chinatown.

I'll remember tales of travels near and far, exotic cultural experiences, and family histories to be proud of.

I'll remember her love for her sons.

I'll remember that she was the real-estate agent that got us our home.

I'll remember that she created my only existing wedding album.

I'll remember the warmth of her Toto hot potty.

I'll remember how she liked to take pictures... usually of Eugene mid-sentence or of the grandkids wailing. 

I'll remember her as "Gran," an unconventional and doting grandmother.

I'll remember what she tolerated when Stephanie applied her makeup and Teresa painted her toes (not toe-nails).

I'll remember our mutual love for salami and rare red meat.

I'll remember that we both try to talk to Eugene and follow him around the house when he tries to get away.

I'll remember that I learned about Asiatic Lilies from her and that they were one of Grandpa Li's favorite flowers.   They grow in our garden thanks to her.

I'll remember that she loved pop-up books.

I'll remember that she rescued Fluffy and he never stopped thanking her.

I'll remember that she duped me into a trip to Sears for a dryer, but instead, bought an electric lawn mower she knew Eugene would disapprove of.

I'll remember that, during the past year, she made me laugh and wish that I wrote down everything because the material is priceless!

I'll remember to add to the Christmas book of memories she was careful to bring each year, asking us to write down what we enjoyed most.

I'll remember the thoughtful gifts she gave me, when everyone else received "gag" gifts.

I'll remember the day I saw the red Jaguar in the driveway!

I'll remember the generosity of her friends, family and colleagues.

I'll remember a strong, courageous woman who battled a series of illnesses and setbacks, any one of which would have crippled others, but always she amazingly recovered.

I'll remember her last weeks, when she demonstrated extreme strength and energy that defied her condition.

I'll remember Gran.

-Jo

Gladys Li

 

After college, I spent many an afternoon and evening at the Li house hanging out with Eugene. The thing that struck me about Gladys, I called her Mrs. Li, was that she wasn’t like my Mom or other friend’s Moms that I knew. Gladys wasn’t formal or distant, rather I always found her easy going and engaged. She seemed more comfortable as a peer than as an authority figure. She’d as readily have a beer with the two of us as she would shout at Eugene to clean up his room. The one image I have stuck in my mind is of Gladys vaulting a low fence while accompanying Eugene and I to one of our Lacrosse League games. It was both funny and cool, and maybe, as I read through the other remembrances, emblematic of a woman who didn’t see barriers that other people saw or projected.

 

Peace.

Dave

 

 

I only met Gladys in person twice in my life, but I started writing to her on my father's behalf and translated her letters to him again and again when they arrived because he was afraid that I might have miss out on something. Therefore, I started to meet her 'on paper' through exchanges of letters as an official 'translator' and 'scribe' ever since her marriage. However, most of our communications were on the family level and seldom personal. I must say that I am more familiar with her handwriting than she as a person.

I think she felt that way too, so she proposed a different way of communication by proposing to make recordings in cassette tapes instead of writing letters. Our communication moved into another era. With better technology, we started communicating through recordings and were able to say more and communicate better directly. At least, that was much more personal. However, better technology did not change the nature of my position as the family 'translator' and 'scribe'. Whether the communication was by the written or oral medium, I was still the bridge making the two worlds understood.

Finally, Gladys proposed that I should relinquish my persona and communicate with her as myself. I dutifully did that telling her a full 20 minutes self-introduction on recording. Very soon, I got a letter from my brother as well as from her asking me what problems I had with 'sex' and that I could share with her on the topic if I met any difficulties there. ??????????

There were such a lot of question marks in my mind. Filled with fear and bewilderment, I was totally flabbergasted as to why I had given them this 'strange' impression, and I wondered what I had said wrong to have given them such an impression. The fact is that for a Chinese girl of 14 or 15 to discuss 'sex' openly some 40 odd years ago was unheard of. And, the most disturbing thing was why should I had problems with it ??? I wondered. Not knowing what to say in reply, I refrained from the topic and never mentioned this ever again. Although the topic was dropped, it was lurking at the back of my mind wondering why I gave her such an impression. Of course, I dared not translate this part of the letter and recording to my father. I would have asked for death if I did and such dirty linens such never be aired in the public. I kept my embarrassment for over 20 years wondering what I had done wrong.

The answer did not come until some 20 years later when I emigrated to Vancouver. Then, I realised that outside HK, people pronounce the subject 'mathematics' as 'Ma-TH' and not 'MaTS' as in HK. I guess Gladys probably heard me wrong thinking that I had problems with sex on the recording for I might have pronounced it so badly that she thought I meant 'SEX' when I said 'MATS' ( for math). I remember well that I did talk about my main concern was my difficulty in doing well in MATS and I confessed that it was my chief frustration which gave me a strong sense of failure.

Well, I do not know whether this can be considered as another case of 'Lost in Translation' or not. When I read Clarence and Andy's contribution to the memory of Gladys, I just thought I should contribute a little to her memory, too. Suddenly this story popped up again and I hope to share this little amusing episode with the rest of her family. Gladys was a concerning lady who spoke openly and bravely well ahead of 'our' time. Her beliefs, sentiments and good intentions were one step ahead of us and I feel so sorry that we did not appreciate them until so many years later. I am glad that I have known her for almost half a century and we had engaged in some serious communication at different periods of this long span of time.

May her soul lie in peace in the loving memory of her children and family.

Carrie

I remember dear Aunt Gladys as one of the very interesting person I have ever met. Our first encounter was some 30 years ago when her family visited HK during one summer. A little scared, I found this auntie very interested in seeing what we do and understanding little bit of details about our lives. Although we could not communicate well in the language of English, she was very patient in listening to us (perhaps trying to figure out what we are talking about). As my brother Clarence mentioned, the scramble egg class was classic. That totally opened up my door to cooking and I still remember Clarence and I later explored on the Gladys’ method by doing different variations of scramble egg. On our 2nd encounter, I was visiting NY some 20 years afterwards. We were having tea in her back yard on a warm sunny afternoon. Amazed that she still remembered who I was from the little kid back then, and we chat about projects she was working on, about thing she remembered during her HK trip, about all these amazing things she thought of our grand pa……….. that I did not even aware……. ……….and the wedding gift she sent all the way from NY for Amy and myself…………

Dear Lord, may Aunt Gladys find eternal peace in you, bless and bring comfort to Eugene, William and the families. Amen.

Andy Wing Him Li

My Auntie Gladys

I am one of Gladys' many nephews from the Li family in Hong Kong. I think I was only 7 or 8 when I first met Uncle Herschel and Auntie Gladys on their first visit to Hong Kong as a family with Eugene and William. Meeting my "gui lo" uncle, "gui pall" auntie and "gui chai" cousins ("gui" literally means "ghost", a common term in Cantonese to describe Caucasian foreigners because of the colour of their skin!) was an unforgettable event! I spoke very limited or if any English then. But right from the start, Auntie Gladys was friendly and showed a great interest in communicating with me, my brother Wing Him, and my cousins Bobby and Ivan. Being a good teacher, she had her object lesson all set to teach her nephews. There was a week or so when my uncle's family of four was crashing with my family of 5 in our 600 sq. ft. apartment on the 29th floor. I remember Gladys one morning decided to teach me and my brother to cook scramble eggs--my first ever cooking lesson! To this very day I still cook my eggs the way Gladys taught me.

In the last ten years Gladys took the initiative to reconnect with me and some others in my family. It was good to meet the proud mother of the grooms at Eugene's and William's weddings. She shown a great interest after learning that I was discerning a call to the priesthood. She was fascinated about the life of my late grandpa--his upbringing, his faith and the many stories grandpa used to love telling his grandchildren. On one of the more recent trips to Asia, she stopped by to visit my parents in Hong Kong. She met my colleague the late Fr. David Retter when he too was passing through Hong Kong on his way to visit our sister parish in Taichung, Taiwan. My dad offered them an adventure driving tour of the city. After the trip Gladys called me to tell me much how much she had enjoyed meeting my colleague. She was also very interested in learning my life as a newly ordained priest in Vancouver, Canada.

About a year and half ago I got a call from Gladys asking if I could help her identifying some Chinese documents written by my grandpa. I was quite moved when she told me that she was hoping to get these documents organized and perhaps translated for the sake of passing those stories and history to her grandchildren Stephanie, Teresa, Dakota Jane and Jason Thomas. She also shared with me her recent passion in researching the first ever Chinese typewriter invented by Yutung Lin. Talking to William last weekend, I was glad to learn that Gladys had completed both of these projects which were dear to her heart this past year.

I am grateful to have known Auntie Gladys however briefly in my life. The friendship she extended to a culture (and more than one culture) which was not her own will continue to live in her children, grandchildren and in the many lives she had touched.

In the words of her favourite Psalm 23:

Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

May Gladys rest in peace. And may she go on living in her children, her family and her friends; in their hearts and minds, in their courage and their consciences. Amen.

Clarence Wing On Li

From Bob Rittner

Gladys and I worked together for her entire time in Hastings. We were friends as well as colleagues, and Gladys reached out to become friends with my wife Bernadette as well. I always loved listening to them on the phone, each laughing uproariously as they shared stories. Whenever Bernadette got off the phone with Gladys she was happy and smiling.

I think what people sometimes forget is how cosmopolitan Gladys was. Whenever possible I saw to it that she had the foreign students in her class, and when the opportunity arose had her teach special groups of foreign students so they could integrate into the school. Invariably they were grateful for her help, whether they were from Kazakhistan or Japan, Latin America or Europe. I know Gladys got immense satisfaction from her ability to connect with them, in large part due to her remarkable understanding and appreciation of their cultures and backgrounds. They found her patient and caring while being impressed by her intellect.

I was always grateful to Gladys for being so much on the cutting edge of computer education. Well before most people in the school she recognized their increasing necessity for teachers and students and became our department's primary resource in that field.

But most of all I remember her warmth and wit and her genuine concern for others. Her admiration for Eunice Lloyd came from her deep appreciation for and desire to emulate the qualities Eunice represented: commitment to excellence, integrity, dedication and a desire to do good in the world. I am deeply saddened by her passing but treasure the memories I have.

Gladys and I were students together at City College. We haunted the
same spots on campus, but never met until I joined her at Farragut
Middle School in Hastings. We shared a great many things, especially
about our children. Eugene and William are a bit older than my guys,
Chris and Matt, so she had quite a bit of good advice about dealing
with babies; on the other hand, our adopted son, Michael, was fifteen
when I started at Hastings, so we had the opportunity of being the
"wisdom dealers" about raising a teenager.

Gladys and I laughed a lot. I think I will mostly remember her
strong, high-pitched laugh which she let loose very freely. Lately,
we had our yearly phone call, Christmas card - "how are the kids;
what's the news" I know how very proud she was of Eugene and William and how deeply she loved her grandchildren.

I'll miss her.

Joe P

Obituary of Gladys M. Li (1941-2009)

Gladys Miriam Li passed away August 21, 2009.  She was 68 years old. 

Ms. Li taught Social Studies at Hastings-on-Hudson for 25 years.
Originally from Jamaica Queens, she graduated with honors from Hunter College High School in 1959 before enrolling at City University of New York (CCNY) which nurtured her life-long commitment to the study of languages, cultures, and international relations. In 1962, CCNY awarded her the first ever Townsend Harris scholarship (named after CCNY’s founder and the first U.S. Ambassador to Japan) to the International Christian University in Tokyo. After a brief stint as a foreign correspondent in India, she considered a career in the foreign service while a graduate student at Georgetown. She received her Teaching Masters from Antioch College in 1968, and ultimately chose to teach at Hastings after meeting her mentor and role model, Eunice Ann Lloyd.
After she retired in 1993, she undertook a variety of charitable endeavors, and traveled extensively.
Dearly loved by her sons Eugene and William, and her four grandchildren, a closed, private memorial will be held in her honor, in accordance with her wishes.