Happy 75th Birthday

It turns out there really is a Tacoma Tori. She must have discovered the Shinto Shrine and Tori in Point Defiance Park when she did trail clean-up on Mt. Rainier with Elderhostel. Apparently there are plans to change the Pagoda and Japanese Garden, so this will probably be the last summer where it looks like how she found it.

The sun going around

Mom never stopped questioning. It made her a great teacher and scholar.  There were times, however, where it just seemed really comical.  This was one of those times.

I suppose I could just lay flowers on the spot where we scattered her ashes. It wouldn't be a fitting tribute. She isn't there. She wanted to be free, out in the universe.  I'm fairly certain she'd like that her memorial is on the internet. Then she'd say something about how there are lost languages now, like "Linear A," and one day the internet will be the same.  At times, I think we are already there and no one understands anything.
But your point was never to confuse me. It was to encourage me to actually have a critical thought; to find it fun and delightful; to draw strength and wisdom from insight; and to have the bravery to face ridicule armed in the confidence that what you have doesn't need to be easy to accept, and it can even be proven wrong; as long as the critical process was honest. Don't worry, Mom, the point was not lost on me.

some remembrances of your mother

 

My ol' buddy Gladys

…Back in grammar school…that's when I first knew Gladys Krum Li.  So it has been a long time,  though we lost touch now and again over the years, and then would resume, sometimes with visits, or phone calls and the "keep-in touch" Christmas cards.

We might have  first met in 7^th grade, when some of the students from smaller schools joined together in a slightly larger one….  Gladys and I were members of an "enriched," experimental educational experience for 7^th and 8^th graders and we were encouraged into "projects."  I remember the  hobby " newspaper " we created…there must have been others involved, but I recall only lots of meetings with herself and myself, writing our columns , discussing. I think all that energy was about photography… an interest we each continued the rest of our lives.

We were also Girl Scouts together, meeting each week in our green uniforms with bright yellow neck  scarves; excitedly off to Girl Scout Camp weekend with the rest of our troop. As a good friend, she warned me one year that she'd discovered that the seniors had it in for me, for I'd snuck about and exposed many of the various "tricks" they planned to play on us. They were attempting to frighten us in the "camp initiation" held in the dark night.  Thus Gladys and our cohorts got to know that the bowl of "slimy worms" they had to handle was really only cold spaghetti with olive oil. Alas, after every other Girl Scout (even Gladys) had to flap her "wings" and crow "Cock-a- doodle-do,"  the senior Girl Scouts made me sit down on the raw egg that the others had only to notice they had "laid."

We applied to Hunter College High School, and we both happily got in…and shared common friends and also had some separate buddies. Hunter was a thrilling time, creating many fond memories. Indeed Gladys always remained an active enthusiast in the alum association.  In the midst of High School, my family moved upstate to the "country", so I had to leave Hunter, a major teenage trauma. But we corresponded.  The local postman said I received more mail than all the others in the village put together, most of the letters  probably from Gladys.  She visited me there , joining me in the various outdoor chores of country living.  My mail has long since disappeared with my many moves, but Gladys saved my letters to her, and returned them a decade or so ago… we were clearly funny characters together, chattering inventively.

I remember her parents whom I admired, intelligent folk with intellectual interests, certainly a strong influence on Gladys.  Gladys and I often "hung out" at each other's homes.  I was impressed that her mother, when widowed, did not move to some part of Florida, where so many others did, but instead to an apartment on the upper East side of New York City. There she could have easy access to the many cultural events that she so appreciated.

Over the years, Gladys and I were also serious:  pondering the sort of life one should try to lead, the roles of being a woman with a career and being a mother.  We were both excited by travel…and both managed to do a good bit.

In later years, I enjoyed some outstandingly delicious and exotic dinners that Gladys cooked at parties at her beautiful house that she loved so well.  She spoke always proudly and lovingly of her sons.

In more recent times, she alerted me to the 50^th Hunter High Reunion, which she was too incapacitated to attend, and I, by her direction, sent her warm greetings to our fellow classmates.

So I remember Gladys, her inquisitive ways, her sharp laugh, her energy, and indeed her positive, exhilarating spirit… which I relished  even over the phone as we chatted during the last months.  

Farewell Gladys, to a good ol' buddy of mine.

Carolyn A Ristau

car31@columbia.edu

Gladys

Gladys and I were friends at Hunter High and forever after.  We would get together- always for a project- and then not see each other for awhile.

When Eugene was little, Gladys once came with him to my house for the day and insisted on us painting  a room together - with Eugene left to his own devices.

For awhile, every year, she arranged a Chinese banquet with the most unusual dishes that she insisted that we try.

When my cousin Joan Pincus ran for judge in Westchester, Gladys was a mainstay of her campaign, volunteering countless hours to that effort for a colleague in the League of Women Voters.

I have so many fond memories of her enthusiasms, her cheerfulness and helpfulness.  I cannot believe that she is gone.

Karla (Turkheimer) Moskowitz

 

 

Your Mom and Grandmother

Dear Eugene and William and your children,

 

I met Gladys  more than 50 years ago, when she and I were young teenagers at Hunter College High School, so perhaps I am the one of all who've written  who knew her "longest ago."

 

Gladys and I were very different then, being so young, but we were sure of one thing during a time when we were unsure of so much--and that was our close friendship.

She visited my crowded apartment near school, and I spent time with her and her parents in Queens. Our familes were, again, so different  (mine spoke Hungarian!) and yet, or because of our difference, our bond strengthened. We studied together, laughed a lot, and tried to figure out who we were in the restrictive 1950's, while attending a school in which everyone was so divergent from the friends we'd had in our sheltered homes and neighborhoods.

 

In later years we attended each others weddings, so long ago. To this day, my daughter Rebecca loves the gift Gladys bought  for Paul's and my new home, a beautiful large blue casserole with a lid and Asian- themed glaze, that still goes into our oven and onto our table after 48 years !  Yes, I still do think of Gladys every time we use it, and Rebecca has heard stories of Linda and Gladys as teenagers since Rebecca,  now nearly forty old, was a teenager. Some day Rebecca will have the casserole, and pass those stories on.

 

Though we have kept in touch, not frequently enough, over the years, it was not until the HCHS 50th reunion this summer that I learned your Mom was not there as she has been sick. Her death comes as a very big saddness in my life, and I know how huge a loss this is for you, her family, and friends.

 

I will always remember, so fondly, those adventures and endless talks that Gladys and I had that led us both to become teachers, "worldly wise", and very much people who have put the importance of personal relationships above all.

 

With my deepest expressions of sadness to you all, and profoundly beautiful memories of my best buddy for so may years, Gladys Krum Li, I  will be always grateful to have been in her path.

 

Linda

 

Linda Weiss Spiegler

3020 Cortland Place NW

Washington DC 20008

(202) 234-5883

linda@portfoliotrvel.com

I'll Remember...

I'll remember Gladys.

I'll remember that when I first met her, I lit up a cigarette while drinking whiskey in her dining room (without asking), but she never objected and was a gracious hostess.

I'll remember the smell of chicken livers and ginger.

I'll remember stories of attempts to get to Livingston, NJ  that ended in Chinatown.

I'll remember tales of travels near and far, exotic cultural experiences, and family histories to be proud of.

I'll remember her love for her sons.

I'll remember that she was the real-estate agent that got us our home.

I'll remember that she created my only existing wedding album.

I'll remember the warmth of her Toto hot potty.

I'll remember how she liked to take pictures... usually of Eugene mid-sentence or of the grandkids wailing. 

I'll remember her as "Gran," an unconventional and doting grandmother.

I'll remember what she tolerated when Stephanie applied her makeup and Teresa painted her toes (not toe-nails).

I'll remember our mutual love for salami and rare red meat.

I'll remember that we both try to talk to Eugene and follow him around the house when he tries to get away.

I'll remember that I learned about Asiatic Lilies from her and that they were one of Grandpa Li's favorite flowers.   They grow in our garden thanks to her.

I'll remember that she loved pop-up books.

I'll remember that she rescued Fluffy and he never stopped thanking her.

I'll remember that she duped me into a trip to Sears for a dryer, but instead, bought an electric lawn mower she knew Eugene would disapprove of.

I'll remember that, during the past year, she made me laugh and wish that I wrote down everything because the material is priceless!

I'll remember to add to the Christmas book of memories she was careful to bring each year, asking us to write down what we enjoyed most.

I'll remember the thoughtful gifts she gave me, when everyone else received "gag" gifts.

I'll remember the day I saw the red Jaguar in the driveway!

I'll remember the generosity of her friends, family and colleagues.

I'll remember a strong, courageous woman who battled a series of illnesses and setbacks, any one of which would have crippled others, but always she amazingly recovered.

I'll remember her last weeks, when she demonstrated extreme strength and energy that defied her condition.

I'll remember Gran.

-Jo

Gladys Li

 

After college, I spent many an afternoon and evening at the Li house hanging out with Eugene. The thing that struck me about Gladys, I called her Mrs. Li, was that she wasn’t like my Mom or other friend’s Moms that I knew. Gladys wasn’t formal or distant, rather I always found her easy going and engaged. She seemed more comfortable as a peer than as an authority figure. She’d as readily have a beer with the two of us as she would shout at Eugene to clean up his room. The one image I have stuck in my mind is of Gladys vaulting a low fence while accompanying Eugene and I to one of our Lacrosse League games. It was both funny and cool, and maybe, as I read through the other remembrances, emblematic of a woman who didn’t see barriers that other people saw or projected.

 

Peace.

Dave